Photo Credit: Tobe Nwigwe “Chuke”
As children head back to school, many parents take on one of the most challenging roles: the school-year support system. Navigating homework, volunteer expectations, field trips, and standardized testing, parents face endless demands in the school year. Parent involvement is a vital pillar of Black student success and is strongly linked to higher academic motivation, positive learning behaviors, and strong college aspirations, especially in all schools, but especially at white-dominated institutions.
I am the mother of two sons, an 11-year-old sixth-grader and a 6-year-old first-grader. My 11-year-old was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), a common neurodevelopmental condition, and had an IEP. An IEP is an Individual Education Plan that assists in navigating the curriculum through modifications and accommodations, tracking his progress, receiving special education services, and setting goals. The plan ensures my son receives specialized instruction and related support services tailored to his unique learning needs. Contrary to the stigma, the diagnosis lifted a weight. My son was finally receiving the support he needed on both academic and social-emotional levels.
With this newfound plan, my role as his mother also expanded. As a part of his IEP, regular parent meetings with the student support team, surveys, and communication are integrated into the plan. Building a strong partnership with his IEP support team, in addition to his primary teacher, was essential to his success, and knowing how to build and maintain those relationships takes communication, respect, empathy, and shared goals and values. I also took those skills to support my other child as they matriculated through school.
Tips On Building Strong Parent Partnerships
After navigating that process with my own children, I’ve learned that a strong parent-school partnership begins on day one. Too often, parents and schools build their closest relationships only after something has gone wrong: a behavioral issue, a disappointing grade, a conflict with another student, or a concern that requires intervention. By then, everyone is entering the conversation with a problem to solve.
For Black parents, being intentional about building those relationships early can be especially important. We want teachers and administrators to know our children beyond a grade, a disciplinary incident, or an assumption made about their behavior. We want them to know their personalities, their strengths, what motivates them, where they struggle, and the families standing behind them.
When those relationships already exist, you aren’t introducing yourself for the first time during a crisis. You have context, established lines of communication, and people who already know both you and your child. And when something does require your attention, you are better positioned to recognize it, ask informed questions, and advocate effectively.
Here are a few ways to begin building that partnership from the start:
1. Establish trust and communication as early as possible
As soon as you know the teacher’s name, set up a time to meet. Often, the first time parents meet teachers is either at back-to-school night, when multiple parents jockey for extremely limited time with the teacher, or during parent-teacher conferences, when tensions may be running high. Reaching out to the teacher to establish rapport and familiarity under neutral/positive circumstances gives you both an opportunity to connect, discuss your student’s goals, and identify potential opportunities or challenges before they arise in the classroom. The reality is sometimes Black children are some of the first Black people educators are exposed to and spend a significant amount of time with. Even with the best of intentions, biases exist and can filter how our children are perceived and received. Creating that fuller picture early can help establish a relationship in which your child is seen as an individual rather than simply through their academic performance or behavior.
For Black parents, establishing this relationship early can carry an additional benefit. You want your child’s teacher to know your student beyond moments of correction or conflict. Share what motivates them, what they’re proud of, where they struggle, what makes them laugh, and what you hope they accomplish that year.
2. Provide detailed information regarding your student’s needs
It may feel redundant to state “provide details” when communication has already been mentioned, but parents can forget details that are extremely relevant for classroom success. Are there additional details regarding your child’s personality or home life that would be helpful for the teacher to know? Issues such as a shifting home life (new marriage, divorce, new sibling, illness) are relevant information.
Black parents may also find themselves navigating the uncomfortable question of whether a concern raised about their child reflects an actual behavioral or academic issue, a misunderstanding, or bias. We don’t serve our children by automatically assuming every criticism is discriminatory, but we also don’t serve them by dismissing our instincts when something feels inconsistent. Knowing and sharing your child’s personality, patterns, strengths, triggers, and needs gives you a baseline for asking better questions.
Understandably, some family matters can be deeply personal and challenging to discuss; however, I would encourage an open and honest discussion balanced with truth and discretion. That said, it is not the teacher’s responsibility to make accommodations for each student’s home challenges and different personalities. BUT a good teacher will internalize this information, and it will support your child’s classroom experience.
3. Know What—and How–Your Child Is Learning
Make sure you sit down with your student during the first week of school to review their curriculum, so you both understand the expectations for their in-class work, homework, study time, deadlines, and grading. Understanding how the class will be structured reduces potential conflict and confusion. Feel free to connect with the teacher, review the syllabus together, and address any questions you may have. For Black families particularly, as they move through history, literature, social studies, and other subjects, talk with them about whose experiences and perspectives are represented and whose may be missing. You don’t have to agree with every book, lesson, or classroom discussion, but knowing what your child is learning gives you an opportunity to provide context at home and encourage them to think critically about the material.
Then, stay vigilant. Pay attention not only to how your child is performing but also to what they are given access to. Are they being challenged academically? Are they being encouraged toward honors, advanced, or enrichment opportunities when appropriate? If they’re struggling, what interventions or additional resources are available? Knowing what the school offers and what is expected of your child allows you to ask more informed questions about their educational path.
4. Establish consistent communication channels between school and home
For Black parents, consistent communication can also provide important context. If the only time you hear from your child’s school is when they have missed an assignment, talked too much in class, or gotten into trouble, those negative interactions can begin to define how your child is understood. Make room for conversations about what is going well, too. Ask about your child’s strengths, improvements, friendships, participation, and contributions to the classroom, not only their challenges.
Establish the communication channel. Early in the school year, find out how your child’s teacher prefers to communicate: email, school portal, scheduled check-ins, etc. Don’t wait until there is a problem to make contact.
Build your own communication cadence. Decide how often you will check grades, review the school portal, talk with your child about what is happening in class, and check in with teachers. For Black parents, this also creates opportunities to hear about strengths, participation, friendships, and progress, not only disciplinary or academic concerns.
Stay consistent and gradually bring your child into the process. Consistency gives you context when something changes. As your child gets older, encourage them to ask questions, seek clarification, communicate when they are struggling, and respectfully advocate for themselves.
5. Volunteering
Volunteering for classroom and school activities is another avenue for building a strong partnership with your child’s teacher and the school administration. Joining the Parent Teacher Association, volunteering as a room parent, and assisting with the planning of school-wide events and activities give parents and teachers opportunities to build rapport and relationships centered on a shared goal outside the traditional framing of parent and teacher for a specific student. Investing time to plan and fundraise for your child’s school can also have benefits when it comes to providing input and feedback on the strategic plans for the school and curriculum.
For Black parents, volunteering can be about more than lending the school an extra set of hands. It creates visibility. Being present gives teachers, administrators, staff, and other families the opportunity to know you and your child beyond moments of conflict or concern. It also gives you a window into the culture your child experiences every day: who is celebrated, who is disciplined, whose parents are in the room, and whose voices help shape the school community. Our children deserve to see Black parents represented in those spaces, particularly in schools where Black families are underrepresented.
6. Checking in with your student
Engaging your child in conversations about how they feel about their teacher, their schoolwork, and their overall school identity can be daunting for some families; however, it is critical that you hear your child’s feedback about their school experience to be an effective advocate. Your child is the one experiencing their educational journey on the front lines every day, and their point of view should be held in high regard, even in moments of conflict. Black children need to feel comfortable sharing details about their day and engaging with their parents, even when they may face challenges. Because checking in with a Black child isn’t just “How was school?” it’s also sometimes “Do you feel like you’re being treated fairly?” “Does this happen only to you?” “Do you feel comfortable asking for help?” “Do you feel your teacher likes you?” Engaging in conversation about their day and how they are experiencing the teacher and curriculum is essential for determining how well they are being supported, identifying any challenges, and ensuring any additional needs are being met.
To note, this isn’t teaching your children to interpret every negative interaction as racial discrimination; you’re teaching them to pay attention to their experiences and give them a safe space to tell you when something doesn’t feel right.
Communicating During Conflict
Even under the best of circumstances, parents may encounter a situation in which they are in conflict with a teacher. I found myself in this situation when, at his previous school, my son’s ADHD IEP was not being adhered to, and it was impacting how he performed in the classroom. I felt the administration was allowing him to fail. There are always additional calculations for Black parents during conflict. Advocacy requires assertiveness, but Black parents may be conscious of how quickly justified frustration can be interpreted as hostility or aggression. That doesn’t mean making yourself smaller or remaining silent when your child needs you. It means being strategic. Document the issue. Bring emails, dates, assignments, IEP provisions, or other relevant information. Ask direct questions. Follow conversations with written communication. Know what resolution you’re seeking before entering the meeting. Your goal isn’t to win an argument with the school; it’s to create a record, identify a solution, and ensure your child receives what they need.
The Path Forward
Parents will spend the majority of their parenting careers supporting their children through their educational journey, and as parents, you are the primary support system for their educational foundation. You instill and reflect the priorities, provide access, and design the home life that can contribute to their success or failure.
Black-parent advocacy isn’t necessarily about entering school expecting discrimination. It’s about being engaged enough to recognize the difference between normal educational friction and something that requires intervention. While that feels heavy, so much of parenting is; it should also feel empowering. You do not have to know every policy, anticipate every problem, or fight every battle to be an effective advocate for your child. You simply have to remain present, curious, and willing to act when something doesn’t feel right. Build relationships with teachers and administrators before you need them. Ask questions. Read what comes home. Listen to your child. Document when necessary. And remember that advocacy can look just as much like collaboration as confrontation.
You are not powerless within your child’s education. You are an essential part of it. Schools may have the educators, administrators, curriculum, and resources, but you bring something no institution can replicate: an intimate knowledge of your child and an unwavering investment in who they become. The goal is not to prepare Black parents to expect the worst from schools. It is to prepare us to recognize what our children need, advocate confidently when those needs are not being met, and build partnerships that allow them to thrive.
Our children deserve to enter their classrooms knowing someone is paying attention, someone will ask the questions, and someone will speak up when necessary. As their parents, we can make sure they never have to navigate those spaces alone.
Biography:
Courtney Welch is a writer, public affairs professional, and cultural and political commentator exploring the intersections of race, class, parenting, and politics. She serves on the Emeryville City Council and is the first Black woman to have served as Mayor of Emeryville, California.
Social Media:
Instagram | Threads/Tiktok/Gist: @_shortcourtney_
Substack: substack.com/@shortcourtney
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Interesting. 🥃